The Tale of Two Encounters with God

A Tale of Two Encounters

            Only seven days separated my two significant encounters with God in July 2006.  Both were profound worship experiences.  Both were in Sunday morning church services.  Both changed me—as any encounter with the Almighty God will do.  But that is the limit of their similarities.  In every conceivable way these two experiences were drastically different.

            I was attending the semi-annual leadership meetings of the mission organization with which my husband serves in the Washington D.C. area.  A small group chose to attend the Sunday morning service held at the beautiful National Cathedral, a liturgical Anglican church.  From my initial entrance into this neo-gothic cathedral, my eyes and my soul were transported up into the heavens.  The architecture, stain glass windows, tapestries and art blended in concert to bring my mind and spirit into reverence and awe of the Creator and Redeemer God.  Soon the organ swelled in musical praise and the ornately robed leaders of worship slowly walked up the aisle and onto the slightly raised platform to begin the service.  Scripture passages were read, prayers expressed and congregant responses were given.  Slowly, as my spirit entered into the corporate expression of worship I realized that I was encountering the holy, transcendent God of the universe.  I was seeing God “high and lifted up” as Isaiah experienced and I was both humbled and lifted into the heavens.  Reverence overwhelmed me and I bowed before the Almighty Creator God.  I left the service in a spirit of awe and delighting the glorious mystery of God.

            The following Sunday we returned to our little inner-city church in uptown Charlotte, North Carolina for the morning service.  Because of a broken air conditioner in the old warehouse where we normally meet, the decision was made to change venues for one week. The only place available to us on such short notice was a local bar and funky art gallery.  It was crowded with old tables, chairs and bar stools.  Liquor bottles lined the walls.  There was no beauty or order to be found here.  The stark contrast from the week before amazed me.  People were dressed in very casual summer clothes; the praise band was in jeans and shorts.  Simple praise songs were led by a couple of guitars with the words displayed on a portable screen.  I wondered how I could encounter God in such a chaotic setting and longed for the experience of the prior week.

            As the morning progressed, different people shared the reality of their life and gave praise to God for a week free from their addictions to alcohol or drugs.  Some talked about their struggle after leaving prison or the half-way house.  Testimonies were given about the change God was producing in their lives that had been wrecked by sin and disastrous choices.  The Scripture passage for the morning was displayed on the screen and everyone joined in the reading of it.  As is our custom, the pastor asked the congregation to engage with the Word and respond to it.  The room was filled with verbal responses, questions and explanations.  Some spoke about the conviction in their heart as they read the passage.  Others shared how God was personally applying His Word to their lives that morning and the difference obedience would make.  Again I was overwhelmed in the presence of God—the Immanent, personal God who is actively transforming lives with this love and power.  Again, I was humbled, yet overflowing with joy in His presence. 

            Two Sundays.  Two services.  Drastically different but essentially the same. I encountered the Holy, Transcendent, yet Immanent God of the universe in both.  My prejudices, preferences and “needs” for worship were challenged.  God changed me as I worshiped Him.  Truly—wherever we meet together to worship God in spirit and truth, He is in the midst.  While I still respond best to beauty and order, worship. . . encountering God. . . isn’t determined by the attractiveness of the scene or the order of service, nor the style of music--though all this can be an integral part of the worship experience.    It is my attitude as I approach worship that determines if I experience God in a significant way. True worship should encompass all aspects of my life.  May God be glorified and pleased as I come into His presence.

Becoming Fully Human

It seems strange that after thirty years, I have finally understood something very important about my eldest son whom we lost over twenty-nine years ago. But first, some background. Tim was twenty-two when he visited us in Vienna for the first time. He was an aspiring actor and/or film maker. He had always “marched to his own drum” and I had not always responded very well to his “flakey” artist temperament. He seemed to need so much applause and could not stay focused on his education or preparation for life—except in his creative pursuits. I did not know how to support him in this and, truthfully, I questioned if his dramatic ability was enough to achieve his goals and I was concerned he would never “settle down” into a “respectable life.” Unfortunately, I was a “typical” parent of an artist.

When Tim arrived in Vienna and was unpacking his suitcase, I sat nearby in order to visit with him. I’ll never forget what he said, “Mom, I never know myself as well. . .who I really am. . . until I am playing a role on stage.” I did not know how to respond to such a strange revelation and I tried to make a humorous response, saying, “Tim, some psychologist is going to have a heyday with this!” I could not fathom how his self-knowledge was tied up into a fictional role he played on stage.

After Tim’s death, I experienced a calling from God to “find and encourage artists.” That began a twenty-nine year journey that continues today. I have learned so much about the artistic temperament and the calling from God for creatives to express their creative gift. I have read numerous books and attended an untold number of seminars about the arts. I continue to lead book studies about art and faith and seek to encourage artists—of all genres—wherever I find them. But it was not until a week ago that God revealed an interpretation of what my son was trying to tell me. He was gifted by God to perform, and when he was acting, he experienced the pleasure of the Creator God. Wow!

Ned Bustard writes, “We are to live out our callings—whether that be digging ditches or dancing on Broadway—understanding that we are weak jars of clay who must rely the surpassing power that belongs to God, and as we do so, Paul says we will see that ‘grace extends to more and more people. . . to the glory of God.’ As a kangaroo was made to hop, humans were made to give God glory by reflecting His creative image in our work, simply by being who were made to be.” That is what Tim was saying, even if he didn’t fully understand it. This is the goal of each of us. This is becoming fully human as God intended us to be.

Tim’s life was cut short by a man in a murderous rage. We will never know if he could have pursued his acting career professionally, or if it would always be in the realm of a “hobby” for him. I wish I could tell him that I understand now what he was trying to tell me. Perhaps I could have encouraged him in a much better way. My son had “stumbled” onto an eternal truth: that when we engage in the gifting God has bestowed upon us, we bring Him delight and then we are able to be fully human—just as God intended. Now, I am working on expressing God’s gifts and calling on my life. And, just like my son, when I am deep into using those gifts, I too experience that feeling of knowing whom I really am.

Thank-you, Tim, for teaching me such an important lesson. Sorry that I was so slow in apprehending the truth of your statement. I understand now—and will pursue being fully human, to God’s glory.

Beauty in Desolate Places

It is hard for me to believe that it is over a year since I have shared a blog post. On the other hand, it has been a difficult year—the continuation of the COVID-19 Pandemic. For many people, including me, it has seemed to be a “desolate place.” It has included a loss of community, death of family members, loneliness of isolation and fear of the future. Perhaps you can identify.

It was during the lowest time of my “desolation” that I was reading in Mark 6:30-44. Three times in those verses the term “desolate place” was used, out of the over 200 times it is used in Scripture. My soul caught on to this description and I began studying just what is meant by this term. It was both enlightening and encouraging.

Some of the implications of a “desolate place” are lonely, state of bleak and dismal emptiness, comfortless. But, it is in these desolate places that God’s goodness is displayed and it is always beautiful! Such places can be a place of rest or healing from grief. Desolate places are unique venues for the purpose of hearing from God. Such trying experiences bring us to surrender totally to God and to know the reality of restoration and His love.

Unfortunately, we often try to run from desolate places in our lives through extreme busyness, sports, Netflix, drinking or eating excessively, shopping—and the list goes on. Whenever we do this, we miss the abundance of provision God wishes to bestow on us.

Unfortunately, it is during these times of feeling desolate that we are open to the lies of Satan which tell us we are abandoned, no one understands or cares. These are lies from hell. God is not only with you in your times of desolate places, He is working in and through you to produce a form of beauty that could only come from Him. God promises that he will make us flourish as we embrace Him in our times of feeling desolate.

I close with this poem by Edwin Markham:

When the great oak is straining in the wind,

The boughs drink in new beauty, and the trunk

Sends down deer roots on the wind wide side.

Only the soul that knows the mighty grief

Can know the mighty rapture. Sorrow comes

To stretch our spaces in our heart for joy

Image: God’s Abundant Love by Sarah Moor

A Sabbath Rest

This week I announced on Facebook that I was taking a “Sabbath Rest” from Facebook from the 1st of September until after the election, sometime around the season of Thanksgiving, or the beginning of Advent. There were a variety of factors that brought me to this decision. To be honest, the highest motivation was to avoid the rancor and divisiveness of the political drama in our country. My temperament is driven to make sure all statements are true, stories are accurate and falsehoods are revealed. I found myself churning inside as I read the lies of multiple conspiracy theories being “shouted” on Facebook posts. I tried to ignore them (as my husband instructed), but I just couldn’t be silent.

Karl Barth once stated, “A being is free only when it can determine and limit its activity.” I was headed towards the bondage of attempting to correct the cacophony of lies being perpetrated on social media—even though I KNOW that this is not the platform for civil discourse. But, when I couldn’t read (or ignore) and forget—I was agitated in my spirit and felt a need to make everybody see the error of their ways. So, I felt the urgent need to withdraw my involvement from this social platform. But, to withdraw into what?

The Sabbath was commanded for God’s people, with the purpose of restoration both physically and spiritually. It wasn’t merely a law to be enforced with harshness. It was a “call”—from the Creator God who had demonstrated this need in Creation itself. It was for for the purpose of healing, the building of relationships, and growing in spiritual maturity. As with ALL of God’s commands, the commandment to intentionally take a “Sabbath Rest” was both to keep us from harm and to give us something good. Gordon MacDonald knew of the power of this and wrote, “If my private world is in order, it will be because I have chosen to press Sabbath peace into the rush and routine of my daily life in order to find the rest God prescribed for Himself and all of humanity.”

Colossians 3:15 challenges us to “let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts.” There was no question that my response to the Facebook entries concerning currant political issues in our country; COVID-19 restrictions; and the upcoming election was definitely disturbing any “peace of Christ” in my heart. Thus, I had to take a step back.

For the child of God, keeping the Sabbath is not slavishly restricting activities on a particular day (although a regular “day of rest” is beneficial). It is truly a mindset, a focus. Priscilla Shirer captured this idea in her quote, “God always and eternally intended the Sabbath to be a lifestyle—an attitude, a perspective, an orientation for the living that enables us to govern our lives and steer clear of bondage.” This is at the heart of my decision to withdraw from the milieu of the ever-present Facebook conversation. While my personal peace is maintained, as I focus on Christ, I am also prevented from becoming onerous in my correcting of others and thus destroying relationships over different ideas of what is best for our culture. It also saves me the time normally spent in reading and responding to my nearly 2000 Facebook friends!

Finally, such a Sabbath Rest had implications for my future. Keeping the Sabbath is big deal to our Creator God. It is built into the fabric of Creation itself. As I intentionally practice entering into such a rest, I am in concert with both the creation and God’s purposes. This final quote by Jurgen Moltmann lays out an awesome possibility built into this command:

The Sabbath opens creation for its true future. On the Sabbath the redemption of the world is celebrated in anticipation. The Sabbath is itself the presence of eternity in time, and a forestaste of the world to come.

May God be glorified in both my decision and the experience of such a Sabbath Rest.

Amen

The Means to an End

Growing up, I had a pastor who frequently stated, “It is NEVER right to do wrong in order to get a chance to do right.” I have never forgotten this truth that was burned into my brain as a young adult. In other words, it is a lie to believe that the “end justifies the means.” There are so many examples of believing this lie on personal issues; in the corporate world; as well as in national and international politics. How can I, as a Christian, consistently live out Kingdom values and not find myself justifying my means because believe I have a right purpose or intention?

I can think of a myriad of examples of how I might “fudge” on the way I do something, because the result would be good. Perhaps I might lie or enhance my resumé in order to get a job that would provide for my family. Or, I plagiarize the writings of another author in order to enhance the book I am writing. What if I lie to keep peace with my spouse? Perhaps, I justify stealing food so that my child will not go hungry. There are a myriad of examples where I might live out the lie that the “end justifies the means.”

This becomes even more obvious in the politics of our country. I deeply struggle with the concept that each election seems to be “choosing between two evils.” Don’t we still end up with evil in the end? Is that what a Christian should support? Our political system of division, hatred, and winning at all costs produces “means” that are glaringly not consistent with Kingdom values, just in order to (maybe) accomplish a good result of laws that we affirm. Are we willing to ignore all the character qualities and history of a candidate (the means) just so that he nominates the “right” judge who might vote for something we believe in (i.e. a “good” result)?

I am committed to living out Christ’s commands in the Gospels, especially in the Sermon on the Mount. These are the marching orders. . . the means. . . to the result of being the people of God in the world. I do not see any addendum to the Ten Commandments. or the Sermon on the Mount that says, “these values may be ignored, as long as you are working towards a good result.”

Brian Zahnd said in a recent sermon, “The means are the end in the process of becoming.” The means are important. HOW we do life is as important as the goals.

I write this, not from a position of knowing how to live out this commitment, but as a fellow traveler on the journey of life who is whole-heartedly committed to living a life that imitates Christ and brings glory to God. Perhaps you, too, are struggling on this journey to know how to be consistent with Kingdom values in the world. We cannot “expect the means to be the same (as the world), but the end to be different.” (Brian Zahnd) We are BE the Body of Christ. . . living out love, life, hope, peace and grace. These are the means, as well as the end. God must be glorified in our methods, in order to be glorified in our results.

God, please show me how to live the Kingdom life. Thank you for the Resurrection power of the Holy Spirit in my life that will enable me to achieve this. I pray for my fellow Christians who are also struggling to know how to live out your values. Help us, Lord. Amen