Beauty in Desolate Places

It is hard for me to believe that it is over a year since I have shared a blog post. On the other hand, it has been a difficult year—the continuation of the COVID-19 Pandemic. For many people, including me, it has seemed to be a “desolate place.” It has included a loss of community, death of family members, loneliness of isolation and fear of the future. Perhaps you can identify.

It was during the lowest time of my “desolation” that I was reading in Mark 6:30-44. Three times in those verses the term “desolate place” was used, out of the over 200 times it is used in Scripture. My soul caught on to this description and I began studying just what is meant by this term. It was both enlightening and encouraging.

Some of the implications of a “desolate place” are lonely, state of bleak and dismal emptiness, comfortless. But, it is in these desolate places that God’s goodness is displayed and it is always beautiful! Such places can be a place of rest or healing from grief. Desolate places are unique venues for the purpose of hearing from God. Such trying experiences bring us to surrender totally to God and to know the reality of restoration and His love.

Unfortunately, we often try to run from desolate places in our lives through extreme busyness, sports, Netflix, drinking or eating excessively, shopping—and the list goes on. Whenever we do this, we miss the abundance of provision God wishes to bestow on us.

Unfortunately, it is during these times of feeling desolate that we are open to the lies of Satan which tell us we are abandoned, no one understands or cares. These are lies from hell. God is not only with you in your times of desolate places, He is working in and through you to produce a form of beauty that could only come from Him. God promises that he will make us flourish as we embrace Him in our times of feeling desolate.

I close with this poem by Edwin Markham:

When the great oak is straining in the wind,

The boughs drink in new beauty, and the trunk

Sends down deer roots on the wind wide side.

Only the soul that knows the mighty grief

Can know the mighty rapture. Sorrow comes

To stretch our spaces in our heart for joy

Image: God’s Abundant Love by Sarah Moor

A Sabbath Rest

This week I announced on Facebook that I was taking a “Sabbath Rest” from Facebook from the 1st of September until after the election, sometime around the season of Thanksgiving, or the beginning of Advent. There were a variety of factors that brought me to this decision. To be honest, the highest motivation was to avoid the rancor and divisiveness of the political drama in our country. My temperament is driven to make sure all statements are true, stories are accurate and falsehoods are revealed. I found myself churning inside as I read the lies of multiple conspiracy theories being “shouted” on Facebook posts. I tried to ignore them (as my husband instructed), but I just couldn’t be silent.

Karl Barth once stated, “A being is free only when it can determine and limit its activity.” I was headed towards the bondage of attempting to correct the cacophony of lies being perpetrated on social media—even though I KNOW that this is not the platform for civil discourse. But, when I couldn’t read (or ignore) and forget—I was agitated in my spirit and felt a need to make everybody see the error of their ways. So, I felt the urgent need to withdraw my involvement from this social platform. But, to withdraw into what?

The Sabbath was commanded for God’s people, with the purpose of restoration both physically and spiritually. It wasn’t merely a law to be enforced with harshness. It was a “call”—from the Creator God who had demonstrated this need in Creation itself. It was for for the purpose of healing, the building of relationships, and growing in spiritual maturity. As with ALL of God’s commands, the commandment to intentionally take a “Sabbath Rest” was both to keep us from harm and to give us something good. Gordon MacDonald knew of the power of this and wrote, “If my private world is in order, it will be because I have chosen to press Sabbath peace into the rush and routine of my daily life in order to find the rest God prescribed for Himself and all of humanity.”

Colossians 3:15 challenges us to “let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts.” There was no question that my response to the Facebook entries concerning currant political issues in our country; COVID-19 restrictions; and the upcoming election was definitely disturbing any “peace of Christ” in my heart. Thus, I had to take a step back.

For the child of God, keeping the Sabbath is not slavishly restricting activities on a particular day (although a regular “day of rest” is beneficial). It is truly a mindset, a focus. Priscilla Shirer captured this idea in her quote, “God always and eternally intended the Sabbath to be a lifestyle—an attitude, a perspective, an orientation for the living that enables us to govern our lives and steer clear of bondage.” This is at the heart of my decision to withdraw from the milieu of the ever-present Facebook conversation. While my personal peace is maintained, as I focus on Christ, I am also prevented from becoming onerous in my correcting of others and thus destroying relationships over different ideas of what is best for our culture. It also saves me the time normally spent in reading and responding to my nearly 2000 Facebook friends!

Finally, such a Sabbath Rest had implications for my future. Keeping the Sabbath is big deal to our Creator God. It is built into the fabric of Creation itself. As I intentionally practice entering into such a rest, I am in concert with both the creation and God’s purposes. This final quote by Jurgen Moltmann lays out an awesome possibility built into this command:

The Sabbath opens creation for its true future. On the Sabbath the redemption of the world is celebrated in anticipation. The Sabbath is itself the presence of eternity in time, and a forestaste of the world to come.

May God be glorified in both my decision and the experience of such a Sabbath Rest.

Amen

The Means to an End

Growing up, I had a pastor who frequently stated, “It is NEVER right to do wrong in order to get a chance to do right.” I have never forgotten this truth that was burned into my brain as a young adult. In other words, it is a lie to believe that the “end justifies the means.” There are so many examples of believing this lie on personal issues; in the corporate world; as well as in national and international politics. How can I, as a Christian, consistently live out Kingdom values and not find myself justifying my means because believe I have a right purpose or intention?

I can think of a myriad of examples of how I might “fudge” on the way I do something, because the result would be good. Perhaps I might lie or enhance my resumé in order to get a job that would provide for my family. Or, I plagiarize the writings of another author in order to enhance the book I am writing. What if I lie to keep peace with my spouse? Perhaps, I justify stealing food so that my child will not go hungry. There are a myriad of examples where I might live out the lie that the “end justifies the means.”

This becomes even more obvious in the politics of our country. I deeply struggle with the concept that each election seems to be “choosing between two evils.” Don’t we still end up with evil in the end? Is that what a Christian should support? Our political system of division, hatred, and winning at all costs produces “means” that are glaringly not consistent with Kingdom values, just in order to (maybe) accomplish a good result of laws that we affirm. Are we willing to ignore all the character qualities and history of a candidate (the means) just so that he nominates the “right” judge who might vote for something we believe in (i.e. a “good” result)?

I am committed to living out Christ’s commands in the Gospels, especially in the Sermon on the Mount. These are the marching orders. . . the means. . . to the result of being the people of God in the world. I do not see any addendum to the Ten Commandments. or the Sermon on the Mount that says, “these values may be ignored, as long as you are working towards a good result.”

Brian Zahnd said in a recent sermon, “The means are the end in the process of becoming.” The means are important. HOW we do life is as important as the goals.

I write this, not from a position of knowing how to live out this commitment, but as a fellow traveler on the journey of life who is whole-heartedly committed to living a life that imitates Christ and brings glory to God. Perhaps you, too, are struggling on this journey to know how to be consistent with Kingdom values in the world. We cannot “expect the means to be the same (as the world), but the end to be different.” (Brian Zahnd) We are BE the Body of Christ. . . living out love, life, hope, peace and grace. These are the means, as well as the end. God must be glorified in our methods, in order to be glorified in our results.

God, please show me how to live the Kingdom life. Thank you for the Resurrection power of the Holy Spirit in my life that will enable me to achieve this. I pray for my fellow Christians who are also struggling to know how to live out your values. Help us, Lord. Amen

A Time to Grieve

The writer of Ecclesiastes gives a poignant description of life, beginning with, “For in everything there is a season.” He continues with a list of couplets which seem to be the opposites that we experience in life. For instance, a “time to weep” is coupled with a “time to laugh.” The “time to mourn” is completed by a “time to dance.” I feel that we are currently in a “time to grieve” throughout our world. I wonder if you feel it also.

The communal grief is produced by the response to the COVID-19 pandemic. Fear, loss, death, isolation and financial insecurity have touched us all. Required isolation results in deep loneliness and, often, depression. Many people have experienced illness and the loss of life. The shutting down of normal business threatens economic collapse and poverty for many. Loved ones who have died have not been granted the normal traditions of memorial services and burials, leaving the bereaved without the closure needed to successfully grieve and come to peace. Grief seems palatable and pervasive.

Such grief has touched my life this month. Two of my cousins died this week in Oklahoma and the family grieves. I grieve for them. My husband also lost a cousin in Kentucky this month. But what has overwhelmed me and left me mired in tears and loss is the death of my dear mother-in-law. We spent her last days with her and were there when she died. Even the knowledge that she had lived a long, productive life of nearly 95 years and was eager to enter heaven, has not negated my response of grief because of her loss. Her death was a beautiful experience of “falling asleep in the arms of Jesus.” Her memorial service was truly a celebration of her life. I rejoice she is in heaven. But, today I weep. It is a time to grieve.

For several years I delivered a lecture on “complicated grieving” to seminary students in South Carolina. I want to share the introduction of this lecture to further the discussion of this “time to grieve.” I began with a poignant poem by Walt Whitman that I deeply relate to.

TEARS! tears! tears!

In the night, in solitude, tears;

On the white shore dripping, dripping, suck’d in by the sand;

Tears--not a star shining--all dark and desolate;

Moist tears from the eyes of a muffled head;

--O who is that ghost?--that form in the dark, with tears?

What shapeless lump is that, bent, crouch’d there on the sand?

. . . away, at night, as you fly, none looking--

O then the unloosen’d ocean,

Of tears! tears! tears!

(Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass)

Such is grief. 

Grief is the response to bereavement--the condition caused by loss through death. Bereavement is something that happens to us. Grief is our response. It is our coping mechanism. It is our way to accommodate the pain of loss. In bereavement we feel we haven’t any choice. In grief. . . or at least the coping with grief we do have choices to make--even though it may seem that we’ve lost all control or ability to choose.

There are many ways to describe what we call grief. Ultimately the purpose of such coping mechanisms are to lead us to find new ways of loving the deceased in their absence. It is, according to Thomas Attig (past president of the Association for Death Education & Counseling), the search for a “new normal” for the rest of our lives. That “new normal” considers both the good memories and the painful losses, incorporates them into our way of living. We are forever changed when we experience deep grief. But--we are not doomed to be destroyed by grief. 

While there is much more in the lecture that we could discuss, I will end with a poem I found after the murder of my son that touches my heart. If you are grieving at this time, there is hope; there is a way back to a “new normal” and an abundant life. For such a time as this. . 

Death

(Rick Taylor)

Death is a big deal.  I take it very seriously

God has my attention

I take my relationship with Him very seriously.

Death is not a friend;

It is an enemy.

I hate it passionately.

God has promised to be more than a friend.

I love Him deeply.

Death had taught me how to cry.

My Father has engulfed me

With His tender arms of compassion.

Death will come my way again.

My Father will see me through.

Death made me want to die with my son.

God has given me life beyond my wildest dreams.

Death tried to change my mind about God.

God has changed my life forever.

I am blessed.

"Fiddling While (Rome) Burns. . ."

There is a legend that during a fire that destroyed Rome in AD64, the leader of the Roman Empire, Nero, stayed in his safe castle and played his fiddle (actually a lyre). It describes an out-of-touch, ineffectual leader that exerts no leadership in a time of crisis. While I believe that could very well describe the United States today, that is not the purpose of my musings. My reason for writing is a much more personal one.

There are so many needs in our country today. People are dying from COVID-19; unemployment is reaching un-heard-of heights; grief and sorrow abound. And where am I? Safe in my home, following the “rules.” This is Day #76 of my isolation. I am doing the right thing. But, am I guilty of “fiddling” in the time of crisis?

My heart is broken with the news of yet another black man dying at the hands of police officers. The litany of names of black men killed in this country by white men, especially those in law enforcement, is long. It grieves me to my deepest being. I cry out for change. I want to do something to make a difference. . . to join into not only the lament that rises up on the behalf of people of color, but to bring about true repentance, forgiveness and reconciliation. But, I feel so helpless. Is even writing this blog an exercise in “fiddling?”

There is no question that violence is not merely a racial issue. Obviously, white men also killed other white men. My dear son was the victim of this. The culture of violence in this country is an insidious, evil reality. But racism in our culture has been at the core of our country for all of our existence. It must be a horrible stench in the nostrils of God. We claim our “Christian” heritage—while never confronting and eradicating this grip of the Evil One. I so want to DO something. I do not want to grieve for a moment and turn back to my “fiddling.” We talk about American being “great” or “great again.” This can NEVER be possible without changing America’s DNA of white supremacy and racism.

I read today this list that made the issue so personal and real. I share it with you, that you might also face the ugly reality of what our black brothers and sisters face everyday. Yes, Black Lives Matter because being made in the image of God means that ALL lives matter. It is imperative that no one. . . no matter what color. . . take a look at the “fire” and return to “fiddling.”

Here’s the list. Read it and weep:

I have privilege as a white person because I can do all of these things without thinking twice about it and without being killed:

I can go jogging (#AmaudArbery).

I can relax in the comfort of my own home (#BothamJean and #AtatianaJefferson).

I can ask for help after being in a car crash (#JonathanFerrell and #RenishaMcBride).

I can have a cellphone (#StephonClark).

I can leave a party to get to safety (#JordanEdwards).

I can play loud music (#JordanDavis).

I can sell CD's (#AltonSterling).

I can sleep (#AiyanaJones)

I can walk from the corner store (#MikeBrown).

I can play cops and robbers (#TamirRice).

I can go to church (#Charleston9).

I can walk home with Skittles (#TrayvonMartin).

I can hold a hair brush while leaving my own bachelor party (#SeanBell).

I can party on New Years (#OscarGrant).

I can get a normal traffic ticket (#SandraBland).

I can lawfully carry a weapon (#PhilandoCastile).

I can break down on a public road with car problems (#CoreyJones).

I can shop at Walmart (#JohnCrawford) .

I can have a disabled vehicle (#TerrenceCrutcher).

I can read a book in my own car (#KeithScott).

I can be a 10yr old walking with our grandfather (#CliffordGlover).

I can decorate for a party (#ClaudeReese).

I can ask a cop a question (#RandyEvans).

I can cash a check in peace (#YvonneSmallwood).

I can take out my wallet (#AmadouDiallo).

I can run (#WalterScott).

I can breathe (#EricGarner).

I can live (#FreddieGray).

I can ask someone to put a leash on their dog when it is required in the public park we are in (#ChristianCooper).

I CAN BE ARRESTED WITHOUT THE FEAR OF BEING MURDERED. (#GeorgeFloyd)

White privilege is real. Take a minute to consider a black person’s experience today

#BlackLivesMatter

God, convict us in our deepest souls today. Bring us to true repentance. Show us how to act and bring about the change of our national DNA. . .and in the hearts of each person in America. God, somehow, bring glory to your name, as we seek to make a difference. Amen