Being a Square Halo
The concept of a Square Halo is intriguing to me. It seems that in medieval paintings, if the person being depicted was still alive, they couldn't be given the circular halo or nimbus. The solution was to surround their head with a square of color--hence, a Square Halo. Anyone viewing the painting would readily know that this was a LIVING SAINT, not a dead one.
Throughout my life, even though I've been a believer in Jesus Christ since I was a child, I've struggled with feelings of unworthiness and guilt. I'd been taught that I was forgiven, cleansed and seen as covered with Christ's righteousness. But I seemed to need reminding of my standing before God as I lived out my life. The concept of the Square Halo has done just that.
I've claimed myself as a Square Halo in the midst of this life. A LIVING SAINT. Not only after I die--but NOW. I'm a new creation. I have a new nature. I can live my life in victory and without condemnation. As God is painting the picture of my life, he has already painted the Square Halo. Praise God.
Flourishing
A few months ago my husband and I were discussing whether we should be slowing down at this stage of life, as our culture expects. Soon after that discussion, I was meeting with a friend, Maria, and telling her about the discussion. She immediately responded, "Haven't you read Psalm 92:12-15?" I assured her that I'm sure I had, but she wasn't content with my answer and immediately began quoting it. "But the godly will flourish like palm trees and grow strong like the cedars of Lebanon, for they are transplanted to the Lord's own house. They flourish in the courts of our God. Even in old age they will still produce fruit, they will remain vital and green. They will declare, The Lord is just! He is my rock! There is no evil in him!"
We've claimed this promise and have committed to God that we want to flourish in this stage of life. God has surprised us with so many new possibilities of serving him. We both of have new positions that will take us back to Europe; I've completed my book on forgiveness and it is ready to be published; I've been invited to be a juror of an international art exhibition and so much more.
I challenge you to claim these promises for yourself. But I warn you--you'd better be ready to respond when God brings opportunities of ministry in His Kingdom that you've never considered before!
Artwork by Evita Gruendler
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Winning the Battle--and Realizing it is only the Beginning of the War
It has been nearly 18 years since our son, Tim, was murdered. At least 13 years ago people in Europe began asking me to write my journey of forgiveness. God confirmed that it was His intention for me. Approximately 10 years ago I promised God that I would write it "just as soon as my dissertation was finished." My dissertation was written 6 years ago. Still I procrastinated. God continued to confirm that I was to write and people on two continents have offered to translate it. Yet I couldn't get it down on paper.
I wrote the outline 3 years ago. Last year we purchased a little cabin in the NC mountains to use as a "writer's retreat." I began writing, finally, last fall but it was a painful struggle and I didn't know why. Every time I was here to write, I felt burdened and oppressed. Plus, strange things such as sudden illness back pain (myself and my husband); roof leaks; no electricity; no water; a freakish, terrible snowstorm,; and so forth would occur. The book wasn't written.
In May our children joined us at our little cabin and prayed that God would cleanse each room from any presence or power of the Evil One. Other people began praying for this month that I was going to write. Incredibly, and to God's glory, the blockage was removed. Both the physical and spiritual. In the past two weeks I have completed the first draft. It is simply a story of God's work in my life. Nothing more. Not a definitive offering on the subject of forgiveness nor a theological treatise. Simply a story. But, it is God's story and He will use it as He wills.
The battle to write this story has been won but I realize that it is only the beginning of the "war" to get it published. There's so many options and so much to learn before it will be ready to share. I've finally accepted that it isn't my war to win, it is God's alone. Please pray that I'll release the results to God and know His way of wisdom for the next step.
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God most obviously wants this story written. Satan is against it! Praise the Lord!! Keep writing, keep trusting and we'll keep praying!
I just wanted to comment on your saying that it is just a story, not a theological treatise. God seems to work very powerfully in stories of how He works in the lives of His people for that is what the Bible is mostly made up of...as well as the way Jesus seemed to like to teach most often...in stories. I believe God's story of working in your life will be a powerful testimony to the power and freedom of forgiveness, more than any theological book on forgiveness.
I'm so thrilled to hear that you were able to finish the first draft and I do trust our Father will see it through to the published end, where it can touch the lives of many people and He can use it to set many people free! Praying with you in the process! Much love, ~Gloria
Wonderful and inspiring. You are a blessing to our family and all who have the pleasure of knowing and learning from you. I hope this inspires me to begin working on my own grief testimony. I have plans, too. I have a long way to forgiveness, but I'm hoping to achieve peace.
So happy that you have reached this place, Dianne. God will indeed do what he has planned with this story, as he already has. I need a cabin; I need time away; I need to finish my book. But God has not allowed any of these three things I "think" I need to have. At least not yet. Once Sam and Elizabeth are gone (and I feel the grief over that already rising...) I too have told the Lord I will go back and finish - in the hours of the week I have given them and the girls in these two years. Somehow I think the writing to new missionaries will be a way of dealing with that grief and awful lonliness that will inevitably come. Timing is everything. Much love, Sarah
Dianne, your story is inspiring - how often we kick against roadblocks that simply need our faith and prayer! Thanks for the reminder. I will be praying for this project in the weeks and months to come. Much love... and let me know if you need me to read a manuscript!!
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A Worthy Goal
I recently read a quote by Steve Turner that put my ministry in perspective. Let me share it with you:
"Our final desire is to see a new generation of Christ-followers whose pursuit of art would be so second-nature, so deeply informed by the Kingdom, that it would be in T.S Eliot's words, "Unconsciously Christian."
This is a powerful goal! To have artists of faith thoroughly living for Christ, so committed to God with their whole being, that EVERYTHING they do in life and in their creative expressions reflects Christian values, beauty, truth and goodness--but in an "unconscious" way. No longer would the debate about what is "Christian art" and what is "secular art" be applicable to such an artist. Because of their journey of faith, they could create with abandon and know that it brings glory to God. May I be used to encourage such radical discipleship!
(Art by Evita Gruendler)
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My Prayer
The last entry in the must-read new book by David Taylor, For the Beauty of the Church, is a prayer for pastors, artists and the "grand others" who desire to see the rightful place of the arts in worship. It so expresses my heart that I'm going share a condensed version with you. Please join me and others in praying this on a regular basis. (Thank-you, David, for your pastor/artist/prophet's heart.)
*I pray that you, pastors, and artists, will be far-seeing, courageous shepherds of the church. May God help you discern how to preserve the good of the old and to welcome the good of the new.
*I pray that you will help your people resist the dizzying rush of multimedia for its own sake. I pray that you will help them embrace instead a gospel that is artistically full but not manic. May you help your people live well, not simply add more experiences to already busy lives
*I pray that you will know how to marshal the patrons in your church to invest in artworks that will nourish the world.
*I pray that you will help your community move beyond feeble cultural imitations to aesthetically rich works of art. I pray that you will embrace the slow, patient work that this will require.
*Pastors, may you freely release your artists into the manifold callings upon their lives, wherever these callings may land them. May you equip your artists to enter the larger society to become the incarnational presence of Christ--a presence quietly hidden or boldly prophetic.
*Artists, may you gladly cooperate with the work your pastors are doing to help you find a spiritual home. May your constant desire be to reflect the life of Jesus, holy and whole, humble and content, courageous and fruitful. May you lavish your neighbors with the glory of our Trinitarian God.
*May the Spirit guide us--pastors and artists and all who have been summoned to lead and to participate in this mission. May each of us remain faithful to the calling God has placed upon our life and upon the life of our church. And may it give us great joy.
Amen.
(Painting is Beauty from Ashes, by Tina Steele Penn)
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