Winning the Battle--and Realizing it is only the Beginning of the War
It has been nearly 18 years since our son, Tim, was murdered. At least 13 years ago people in Europe began asking me to write my journey of forgiveness. God confirmed that it was His intention for me. Approximately 10 years ago I promised God that I would write it "just as soon as my dissertation was finished." My dissertation was written 6 years ago. Still I procrastinated. God continued to confirm that I was to write and people on two continents have offered to translate it. Yet I couldn't get it down on paper.
I wrote the outline 3 years ago. Last year we purchased a little cabin in the NC mountains to use as a "writer's retreat." I began writing, finally, last fall but it was a painful struggle and I didn't know why. Every time I was here to write, I felt burdened and oppressed. Plus, strange things such as sudden illness back pain (myself and my husband); roof leaks; no electricity; no water; a freakish, terrible snowstorm,; and so forth would occur. The book wasn't written.
In May our children joined us at our little cabin and prayed that God would cleanse each room from any presence or power of the Evil One. Other people began praying for this month that I was going to write. Incredibly, and to God's glory, the blockage was removed. Both the physical and spiritual. In the past two weeks I have completed the first draft. It is simply a story of God's work in my life. Nothing more. Not a definitive offering on the subject of forgiveness nor a theological treatise. Simply a story. But, it is God's story and He will use it as He wills.
The battle to write this story has been won but I realize that it is only the beginning of the "war" to get it published. There's so many options and so much to learn before it will be ready to share. I've finally accepted that it isn't my war to win, it is God's alone. Please pray that I'll release the results to God and know His way of wisdom for the next step.
Comments
Thanks for sharing this wonderful blog.
God most obviously wants this story written. Satan is against it! Praise the Lord!! Keep writing, keep trusting and we'll keep praying!
I just wanted to comment on your saying that it is just a story, not a theological treatise. God seems to work very powerfully in stories of how He works in the lives of His people for that is what the Bible is mostly made up of...as well as the way Jesus seemed to like to teach most often...in stories. I believe God's story of working in your life will be a powerful testimony to the power and freedom of forgiveness, more than any theological book on forgiveness.
I'm so thrilled to hear that you were able to finish the first draft and I do trust our Father will see it through to the published end, where it can touch the lives of many people and He can use it to set many people free! Praying with you in the process! Much love, ~Gloria
Wonderful and inspiring. You are a blessing to our family and all who have the pleasure of knowing and learning from you. I hope this inspires me to begin working on my own grief testimony. I have plans, too. I have a long way to forgiveness, but I'm hoping to achieve peace.
So happy that you have reached this place, Dianne. God will indeed do what he has planned with this story, as he already has. I need a cabin; I need time away; I need to finish my book. But God has not allowed any of these three things I "think" I need to have. At least not yet. Once Sam and Elizabeth are gone (and I feel the grief over that already rising...) I too have told the Lord I will go back and finish - in the hours of the week I have given them and the girls in these two years. Somehow I think the writing to new missionaries will be a way of dealing with that grief and awful lonliness that will inevitably come. Timing is everything. Much love, Sarah
Dianne, your story is inspiring - how often we kick against roadblocks that simply need our faith and prayer! Thanks for the reminder. I will be praying for this project in the weeks and months to come. Much love... and let me know if you need me to read a manuscript!!
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